All The World Seems In Tune On A Spring Afternoon When We're POOOOISONING PIGEONS IN THE PARK!

Today I skipped Fundamental Drawing. Why? Because I am an ASSHOLE. It's my favourite class and Ernesto totally validates my existence with comments like "Ees nat bad" and "Verry goode", and it was a late class starting at 10am, but as I said, I am an ASSHOLE. Also, I have some sort of flu or whatever.

The other day I finally got to see Yasmin again! We went to Pavilion as usual, and after some uneventful prom dress shopping (for her, obviously, as I have never and will never EVER be seen anywhere NEAR a prom) we went back to her house where she pressured me to watch Dear John, knowing well that I would completely annihilate the movie with my scathing sarcasm and witty uh... Wit, which I had forewarned her about... She still managed to force me to watch it with her.

It was horriffic. Her blog failed to mention how I recoiled in horror at the sex-in-the-barn scene (seriously, who the fuck DOES that shit?!) and how I cleverly called the involvement of cancer, foreshadowed violence, and of course the jealous best friend. NO "love" story would be complete without the jealous best friend, AND I called all this within five minutes of the start of the movie! I'm a fucking genius and shouldn't be subject to such torture, but there you have it. Yasmin kept squealing and going "Haaaaaaawwwwwww!!!!" and staring at me with enlarged pupils and at one point started hugging me but I knew she was channeling fake cinematic love energy.

Do NOT tell me that you have been away from your girlfriend for like ten million years and haven't fucked a Vietnamese prostitute. Or twenty. There is no way in HELL that stupid bitch with the big forehead did not see the relationship ending in tragedy, and what the FUCK was the significance of them meeting outside that coffee shop at the end? What, do they get back together? SO THE FUCK WHAT? GOD!

*shudders*

I swear. The things I do for her! I would NOT watch a love story for ANYONE but Yasmin. After a few days of thinking it over, I come to the conclusion that I have not enjoyed a single love story, and my favourite love song is about a tranny.

AAAAAANYWAY, all that aside... Not much has been going on as per usual. I think at one point I used to be funny, and then I kinda lost it and went all emo and there's really no point in anyone reading my blog anymore.

You can read Yasmin's blog HERE.

Soooo... Yeah. Oh. I'm going traveling with Aidan at the end of the year! He wants to go to Maldives, which is fine and dandy, but then we have to go to Bali. However I NEEEEED a girlfriend to go with! I can't go clubbing with my brother alone! That would be so totally lame! But yeah, we haven't even talked about it yet, Mom just came over to tell me he had plans, so we may as well go together. Nyee.

Now Playing: Poisoning Pigeons In The Park - Tom Lehrer. This song is pretty much the theme song of my life. But it's not against anyyyyy religion, to want to dispose of a pigeon!

We'll murder them allll in laughter and merriment, except for the ones we'll take home to experimentttt!!

You're too young to be developing a drug problem and early onset prostitution!

I've been going through a fuckin TIDAL wave of hideous luck lately. Ever accidentally rang someone while having extremely loud sex with someone else? Now I get to tick just one more horrid life experience off the official list of odious things to happen to you in your lifetime. I've already ticked off the "Swallow an insect while running with your mouth open" and "Pass out at a fast food restaurant in the middle of the night, alone" experiences.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I still have "Tuck your skirt into the back of your panties by accident" to look forward to.

And to top it all off, Layne stepped on my mirror today and shattered it into a million pieces so I'm guessing I'm going to have positively loathsome luck for the rest of my life.

And do NOT say it's karma. If karma existed, there would be no need for the judiciary system that (most of) the world relies on to keep shit in order and such. WOULD THERE? People who believe in such flippant theories are fools and will get nowhere in life. "God will punish you!" If you're so certain of it, why do you feel the need to remind me? Or... Is it you that you are reminding? Assuring, maybe? You humans and your ostentatious faiths... Are your beliefs really that strong, or are they so solid just because you're afraid someone who makes sense will one day come around and attempt to knock that shit down?

Anyway, I'm not going to preach. If god existed, I'm sure he'd want people to stand up for themselves and not follow blindly, no matter what they believed. If I'm wrong, well fuck me. I'm already living a hell as it is.

Last Awesome Thing That Happened: I was at the gym yesterday on my elliptical machinemajig, when this dude just clear of the handlebars of my machine fell off his and started spazzing out and frothing at the mouth. I had a front row view! People rushed to his aid and I felt no need to interrupt my workout so... I didn't. Heh.

My Hideous Day.

Ok so here's a recap of my hideous day:

9am: Woke up from a barely-restful sleep to my phone alarm.

9.02am: Ripped some hair out, groaned and rolled out of bed and into the bathroom.

9.04am: Realized I had a terribly sore throat that no amount of toothpaste or lozenges could abate.

9.58am: Stormed into class and sat at an empty desk on a broken chair (I knew it was broken but it was the only chair available). Was immediately subjected to torture; assorted losers were already at their loser stations and readying selves for a day of loserdom by blasting Muse, whom are SO five years ago.

10.04am: Chair gave way. Attempted to save self by grabbing the edges of the table, but that gave way as well and I hit the ground on my ass, still gripping the table.

10.04:15am: Noticed everyone staring and screamed "FUCK MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!". A nice classmate who is actually neither a nerd or a virgin asked if I was ok, but I got up and stormed out of the class.

10.05am: Realized I had no business outside the classroom, so I stormed back in. Everyone pretended nothing happened.

10.30am: Documented Betty's clothes for the day.

10.30am - 12.30pm: Egrieged around class doing nothing. Noted that skin was unbelievably dry. Retouched makeup and moisturized face.

12.30pm: MP3 battery died; left earphones in so nobody would disturb me. Played Pokemon on GameBoy Micro. Was defeated by my own (fictional) father at Verdanturf town; screamed some obscenities at nobody in particular.

12.30-3pm: Sat around in class doing nothing.

3pm-8pm: Egrieged around KL with Boob and Anissa. The rumoured sex shop at Tropicana mall exists, but their selection is limited and WAY too pricey. I get fancier stuff online.

8pm: Arrived home. Found out new vibrator STILL hasn't arrived. Stormed around in an erratic egregious fit of rage.

9pm: Showered. Brushed teeth and pulled out a huge chunk of my inner cheek. It was stained purple from all the blackcurrant lozenges I'd consumed.

Sooooo yeah that was my day. It was horrifying. Hopefully everyone else had an equally shit day.

Boreded.

I'm bored. I'm bored of my last few blog posts so I'm writing a new one so I don't have to look at the previous ones.

That is all.

My eyeballs hurt.

One thing I now know for sure is that no matter how much someone tells you you're their number one, you can never really be on their mind all the time. I don't believe in love and I don't believe in friendship -- I only believe in making do with what you have here and now. Your little elementary school best friends, where are they now? Where's your boyfriend from when you were fifteen, that you swore you would love forever and eventually marry? No matter how much you love someone, you will cheat on them and they will cheat on you, emotionally or physically. It's sad, but that's the way the world is. Learn to live with knowing you will never, ever be someone's number one or only one -- It's never gonna happen.

That said, I'm thinking of what to do on my long ass two or three month break while all my asshole classmates go on to their Photography semester that I thankfully have already done... I know I'm most likely gonna sit at home and smoke pot while watching Spongebob, but before I begin I could just start daydreaming. I want a vacation. That last vacation was a complete emotional drain and just made me hate everybody. I don't want to go alone, but I can't think of anyone else to go with! Unless I go with Layne, which will DEFINITELY end up horriffic and hideous to the MAX.

Speaking of which he started an argument with me last night about how I don't like this chick friend of his. He said he had a problem with it cos I didn't have a reason to dislike her, but he had a reason for not liking my friends because "they come into your house and throw weed in your face". I told him I was not a victim of anything; if I want to smoke up I very well will do so and I don't need his permission! I have a mind of my own. If I don't feel like it, I won't. Anyway, my reason for not liking her is she appears OUT OF NOWHERE, and starts living in his apartment along with his roommates, all ALL OF A SUDDEN he feels TERRIBLE for not seeing her for one night, and he's at her every beck and call just because her house got broken into, she needs help moving her shit, etcetera etcetera. I mean, how would he feel if I SUDDENLY moved some dude into my apartment; some dude I've NEVER spoken of but seem to get along very well with?

Anyway, that's said and done. I creeped him out by being extra nice instead of stomping around the house all night in an erratic egregious fit of rage, so whatever.

Uncle Zack will be here soon to pick me up for tea at my grandparents' place -- Whooooo. Break out the cases of beer and light yourself a cigar! IT'S A PARTY AT SHAH ALAM!

Betty.

I've finally found my Betty! Remember a few months ago I had this post describing the people in my life as Ugly Betty characters? And I said I didn't have a Betty? Well now I do! She even looks like Betty and is prone to erratic fits of egregious rage. Most of all she has a hideously mismatched wardrobe, with long patchwork skirts, thrift store tee shirts, Birkenstocks and Crocs, and the like. She's not fat, but she is definitely Betty, I'm sure of it. Whenever I am bothered I'd update Twitter on what she's wearing. Yesterday she wore a patchwork maxi skirt with lace trimming, a tee with some stupid slogan or other, and accessorized with a scuba diving watch and a ballerina charm bracelets. I think she was wearing cork Birkenstocks.

Hee. My life is complete! I would love to make her over, I have a feeling she has some potential as a half-decent looking person, but just doesn't know it or doesn't bother.

The party days are over.

I've been enrolled in four colleges, and I have actually attended three... The word "attended" being used in the loosest possible manner. Since my first college experience at HELP, until my current college experience today at Taylor's, I've studied a wide range of topics up close and personal -- Economics, Law, Psychology, and now, Graphic Design. If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: One person leaving a group can and will cause the entire group to separate.

I didn't actually leave Taylor's, but I did leave my intake because the dumbass that I am smoked and drank my way through my first semester and pretty much had an epic fail of a report card to show for it. In the 8 months or so I was with them, the Aces pretty much made life worthwhile. When I broke up with Layne and threw his bags out the door and locked it behind me, I called Didi, whom I'd only known for a couple months, crying hysterically wanting nothing but to hear his voice. He was at college that night working on an assignment I never even bothered to attempt, and I could hear the others in the background going "That was Anna? Was she... Crying?!"

Seven months after I met them I was finally comfortable enough around them to invite them into my home. Well, they invited themselves into my home. They were planning on invading Fabio's home but he shut them out, so Andy, Didi and Afiq came over and we had our first party and smokeup session. Afiq tried to make me kiss him, then proceeded to pass out. The next morning we had a field trip and we couldn't hardly walk so we skipped out to hang out by the buses while everyone else trekked through forests with DSLR cameras.

Occasionally Andy gets on my nerves, just about something or another. But we're just that kinda people -- Sometimes we just can't get along. Regardless, without Andy, many nights would have been spent moping around at home, instead of getting wasted and laughing my ass off at stupid shit with him.

Anyway, since I left their intake, they've kinda... Recruited some other girls into their little gang and now I hardly see them and it really hurts me. Most people wouldn't understand, but they just don't know how hard it is for me to open up to people.

It was three months before I hung out at lunch with them. Five months before I hung out with them outside of college. Seven months before I let them into my home, and ten months until I started hugging them and kissing them on the cheek and telling them I loved them.

I'm just not the sort of person who can go through all that in a day. It takes time, and to see all my time wasted like that just hurts. I want things to go back to the way they were, but I know I can't go back.

My classmates are losers, the Aces have moved on without me and I'm out of vodka. I'm guessing the party days are over.

SPENGBAB.

While Yasmin is off valliganting in London and having fun and other such business, I am sitting on my fat ass in my dingy little apartment, on my mattress on the floor in a corner of my dingy little bedroom, drawing my own version of Spengbab on Photoshop. Not bad for a first attempt! I was a bit hesitant to do my own Spengbab so I didn't break the mold of fat hairy Spengbabs doing formidable things such as smoking and murdering people. Maybe later on when I'm more comfortable drawing fat hairy ugly sponge-human things I'll mediate away from the norm and do something more creative! Anyway, here's my Spengbab!


I'm not sure why it turned out so small, but maybe you can click on it and see it in all its hi-res glory. Seriously though. CLICK ON IT.

PS: My apartment isn't really dingy. It's actually pretty nice, despite the lack of wall decor. But yeah. It's not really dingy.

My Life Is Here. Laterz!

Let me just say I am not impressed by the Mac labs in the Lakeside campus. Now Meth labs would be something to brag about!

So life has been totally uneventful lately. How very sad for me.

I ditched class this morning, it's just a lame Sejarah lecture so I doubt I missed much, then I totally overslept for my 1pm class with Mr Charles, but he let the class go after 20 minutes so I guess it's a good thing I didn't go. Hee.

I spent the afternoon making more rainbow cupcakes! I made them for Layne, because... Well, I made them for myself, but he likes to call me fat and remind me how morbidly obese I am, so I'm just saying they're for him but I'm definitely eating some. Nyeheheh.

God I am SO BORED and I have NOTHING to blog about! Oh, I can blog about some of my inside jokes that I have with myself, since nobody gets me most of the time and I don't have many friends. Yeah, I'm half delusional most of the time. Wait... Whatever.

Inside Joke With Self #1: This one time, I was on a plane, and I looked to my right and there was a sticker that said Life Jacket Under Seat and I thought it said "Michael Jackson Under Seat" and I laughed to myself but nobody finds it funny how it's such an according misreading, seeing how Michael Jackson is was an alleged child molester and all... Never mind.

Inside Joke With self #2: SPENGBAB. NOBODY (except maybe my Spongebob-hating cousin Alysha) understands why I find Spengbab so fucking hilarious. I don't understand how you can NOT find it hilarious! Look at how hideous he is!





Why are you not clutching your stomach in agonising laughter? It's FUNNY! He's HIDEOUS!

Inside Joke With Self #3: I misheard the lyrics to The Way I Are: "We can live without the perks just you and me" as "We can live with octopus just you and me" HOW IS THAT NOT FUNNY? Nobod else finds this funny either, apart from maybe Yasmin, who told me on Twitter she did find it funny, but I doubt she finds it as funny as I do.

Inside Joke With Self #4: I misheard the lyrics to By The Way: "Dani the girl is singing songs to me beneath the marquee, by the shore" as "Dani the girl is singing songs to me beneath the marquee, BULBASAUR!" and well I'm pretty sure nobody finds this funny either.

There is either something seriously wrong with me, or I just have a way awesomer sense of humour than most people I know. OH WELL!

Boob and Shamana have just invaded my house to eat my cupcakes and pizza, and drink my Coke and watch zombie movies. Awesome! Laterz!

GLITTER COCAINE!

Today was a long and uneventful day at college, apart from the fact that I totally saved my group's ass by using my powers in awesomeness to whip up a completely acceptable and not only that, AMAZING, proposal for our Malaysian Studies presentation. Which, by my call, will be titled Cultural Couture and will document the evolution of traditional Malaysian attire to suit the aesthetic trends and preferences of the modern Malaysian. Of course it will involve a fashion show and of course it will NOT involve PowerPoint in any way or manner.

You should be able to tell by now that I have a thing for fake mustaches.

Oh yeah! I cut 3 inches off my hair today. Been thinking about cutting it for a while and I've just really missed having shorter, thicker hair! So I did it. Hee. It was completely painless and I am happy to look the way I've always loved looking. Like this!


Layne took this picture of me almost two years ago. Come to think of it, where the hell has that top gone to, the one I'm wearing in the picture? I think one of his friends borrowed it last year for some drag queen part or whatever. Boys and their love for cross dressing... It is NOT just a boarding school thing after all!

Anyways, for all of you who have noticed the Jonas brothers have really big asses, bravo. I laughed the whole fifteen minutes drawing this last night. It shouldn't have taken that long, but I was too busy laughing. So yeah.
PS: I'm pretty sure Yasmin knows I miss her loads and I hate not knowing what goes on in her life but I won't see her for at least another three weeks! But yes, I do understand that she is stuck in KTJ and of course has other egregious friends to tend to. I love you Yasmin!

Glitter stickers and HACKSAWS.

So like WHAT DISTURBING THOUGHT-PROVOKING RANTING INFURIARIATING RACIST AND MALE-BASHING THING AM I GOING TO SAY TODAY?

Nothing. Hee.

I had college, which at best was a waste of time, although I did make the lives of my underachieving brain dead (at BEST) classmates a bit easier by suggesting to Mr Charles how to make our current assignment (a sort of mosaic montage thing of our faces, again) (2D Design involves a lot of out own faces this semester) a bit less tedious by... Well if I explained out of context it would be very confusing so I won't.

Then I went shopping with a New GayMarc Alvin, who is very nice and from Sabah and he encouraged me to buy lots of cute stickers and we both had fish and chips for lunch at Manhattan Fish Market, and they were like 20 bucks each for lunch, and he didn't find that expensive at all and I appreciate that because rich people make me feel better about being rich as well. Thanks to all the assholes who make me feel horrid for being better off than themselves!

And OH! Yesterday was an amazing day cos I finally mustered the courage to ask Ernesto for a female figure to draw, but he told me to choose something "impressive" and there weren't very many impressive females in the anatomy book he gave me, so he took a porny picture from his desk and stuck it on the wall for me to draw. This is the outcome! It's on a huge A0 paper, I don't know if those exist but it was twice the size of an A1, which would make it like sixteen A4 papers put together.


It's not complete yet; I would love to paint her if I ever got the courage to even TRY painting something, but I would definitely colour her in on Photoshop if I had the time. Which I don't. But I would love to. Hee.

So I'm sorry I've been blogging nonstop about my life as an artist and not my life as a bitchy friendless college student who smokes too much pot but I've been very much nothing but an artist lately! But indeed I will say something non-art related.

So I saw my Papa yesterday! We had lunch at Bangsar Village, it was so nice! I love talking to him about stuff and he always makes me feel accepted. He's more like a friend than a dad and he doesn't mind me smoking in front of him a bit! He told me that when I was younger I "did something bad to the ambassador of Spain, something lah, but I can't remember".

Ok that wasn't exactly non-art related (lol). Why aren't you loling? My Papa's name is Azhar and people call him Art. Ok now you lol! I demand you LOL!

Currently loving: Distressed denim and thin fabrics, Maksim Mrvica music (Wonderland especially cos it brings back memories of the Aces), losing weight seemingly effortlessly at the gym... And some other things.

Last thing that woke me up other than an alarm: A text from Fabio (:

Why I buy everything in pink although it is clearly unnecessary: So that Layne doesn't use my stuff... Or at least feels embarrassed for doing so :p

So like, I joined the gym. I'm not gonna bother elaborating other than I used to be addicted to jogging, which is why I quit, because missing even one day triggered major depression. The addiction is back. I was on the treadmill for at least two hours without stopping yesterday and I didn't even know it.

Someone sent me a rather ominous "Hey.." via text late last night while I was sleeping and right now I'm wondering what that meant. Of course, it could have just been a "Hey.." except there are no smilies and he normally uses smilies and I replied him this morning and he hasn't replied and now I'm feeling anxious cos he hasn't spoken to me or seen me in months and is now just randomly saying "Hey..". I am just waiting for either a lecture of some sort, or to be asked a favour. Or maybe he's heard I'm having a drinking and smoko session at my place tomorrow night and wants in, I don't know. Sigh. I hate this feeling! It feels as though I'm in trouble for some reason!

Anyways, I've been doing well in Ernesto's class! Finally did a large full figure anatomy drawing yesterday and I've been psyched cos Ernesto said it isn't bad at all! I mean the hand's a bit small and the entire face is screw up apart from the eyes, but other than that I AM MADE OF AWESOMENESS!


Nyahaha. OH! And my 2D Design pop art piece is FINALLY complete!



Not bad for someone who doesn't even like pop art ey ey ey? Hee.

I'm feeling rather tired and uninspired today, and I have my first session with the trainer in a couple hours... Sigh. I can't be bothered with the gym right now!

Last dramatic entrance: Bursting into class half an hour late, folder and bag swinging everywhere and falling apart, and taking a huge puff from my inhaler before regaining composure and sitting down.

Current problem: Heart is beating WAY too fast; ate a bowl of muesli and am STILL starving.

Bad day, but I killed two spiders.

I'm bored, so I'm gonna blog. Hee. It's this mentality that clogs up people's Twitter and Facebook feeds, but whatever.

I joined a gym today! I finally took the initiative to not be a fat fucking slob, and join a goddamn gym, pay hundreds for marginal weight loss and public humiliation in tight clothing amongst sweaty people, and lose some fucking WEIGHT! JYEAH!

Speaking of sweaty people, today has got to be the second shittiest Fundamental Drawing class ever. I finally was assumed worthy of crossing the frontier of full figure anatomy drawing, and I was so super proud, but half an hour through my drawing Ernesto told this sweaty, hairy JUNIOR to "fix" my drawing! He just hovered around me tapping on my paper with the end of his pencil going "This is wrong" and "This is too short" or whatever. As if I couldn't have figured any of that out myself! I mean, if Ernesto had done it, fine, but in WHAT world was this perspiring JUNIOR with tufts of hair poking out of his sweat-stained long sleeves in any way certified to tell ME what to do? I was getting increasingly annoyed by his incessant tapping and pointing so I threw my pencil down and stormed out of the room in a fit of erratic egregious rage. THE NERVE!!

I was so insulted I felt like crying. My sensitive artistic soul has yet again been crushed. It was my first day trying out something new too! Ernesto told me he wanted me to do this as my first assignment for an exhibition and he told me to make him proud. I am so confused! Does one tell another to make them proud because one believes the other has the capacity to make one proud, or because the other isn't making one proud? GAAHH!!

Anyway I just can't wait to meet up with my personal trainer tomorrow after college to work on a program and all that sorta bullshit. Knowing my luck it'll probably be super egregious and horrible and sweaty and I'll end up passing out within fifteen minutes of switching on a treadmill. Awesome.

In any case, I bought this cute pair of sneakers from Echo Park for the gym. I know I'm not supposed to be shopping, but I can't just turn up in old Converse! *shudders*


Currently hearing: Some Bowling For Soup Song.

Current problem: Layne wants me to go to his apartment more despite the fact that I feel completely uncomfortable in any environment in which I can't walk around in m underwear... Because he lives with people I hardly know.

Aquarium status: No fish have died since my pufferfish passed away about a month ago... It came from a crappy breeder anyways. One catfish is swimming upside down near the surface, which is unusual for catfish, but the other catfish is acting normal. Both have always swum upside down as far as I know.

Random: I can't believe it's only 10.30pm right now. It feels like 1am. I am friggin exhausted!

Fuck it's a fucking hot night tonight.

What's In My Bag Yo.

So today I'm doing an Audrey Kitching and posting a picture and description of random shit I carry around for mostly no reason at all. Here's the first installment of What's In My Cute Turquoise Bag!


Clockwise from the top is:

1. My cute lemur keychain with my blinged out key card and college ID. I actually like my ID picture, for once I don't look like a retard.

2. Turquoise Sally Hansen nail polish, for long boring days in college where all I really do is NOTHING.

3. Pink MP3 player from Kami!

4. Blue glitter leopard print wallet! It's adorable. I bought Yasmin one first but then I had to get myself the same one!

5. Bobbi Brown lip palette! I don't really use it... I just like having it in my bag.

6. Pink GameBoy Micro! Me and Aidan got Micros a couple weeks ago. He got me this pink one and I got him a red and gold Mario edition one!

7. Assorted pens and pencils - Because I am a design student.

8. Makeup! Powder and eyeshadow. You never know when you'll need a quick top-up!

9. More random makeup, and my cigarette case, also from Kami!

10. And lastly, my hormone pills. Not much to be said for them!

Having done this, I really don't see the appeal. I don't get why Audrey Kitching does it every couple weeks. Oh well! I guess my bag just isn't that exciting. Haha!