All The World Seems In Tune On A Spring Afternoon When We're POOOOISONING PIGEONS IN THE PARK!

Today I skipped Fundamental Drawing. Why? Because I am an ASSHOLE. It's my favourite class and Ernesto totally validates my existence with comments like "Ees nat bad" and "Verry goode", and it was a late class starting at 10am, but as I said, I am an ASSHOLE. Also, I have some sort of flu or whatever.

The other day I finally got to see Yasmin again! We went to Pavilion as usual, and after some uneventful prom dress shopping (for her, obviously, as I have never and will never EVER be seen anywhere NEAR a prom) we went back to her house where she pressured me to watch Dear John, knowing well that I would completely annihilate the movie with my scathing sarcasm and witty uh... Wit, which I had forewarned her about... She still managed to force me to watch it with her.

It was horriffic. Her blog failed to mention how I recoiled in horror at the sex-in-the-barn scene (seriously, who the fuck DOES that shit?!) and how I cleverly called the involvement of cancer, foreshadowed violence, and of course the jealous best friend. NO "love" story would be complete without the jealous best friend, AND I called all this within five minutes of the start of the movie! I'm a fucking genius and shouldn't be subject to such torture, but there you have it. Yasmin kept squealing and going "Haaaaaaawwwwwww!!!!" and staring at me with enlarged pupils and at one point started hugging me but I knew she was channeling fake cinematic love energy.

Do NOT tell me that you have been away from your girlfriend for like ten million years and haven't fucked a Vietnamese prostitute. Or twenty. There is no way in HELL that stupid bitch with the big forehead did not see the relationship ending in tragedy, and what the FUCK was the significance of them meeting outside that coffee shop at the end? What, do they get back together? SO THE FUCK WHAT? GOD!

*shudders*

I swear. The things I do for her! I would NOT watch a love story for ANYONE but Yasmin. After a few days of thinking it over, I come to the conclusion that I have not enjoyed a single love story, and my favourite love song is about a tranny.

AAAAAANYWAY, all that aside... Not much has been going on as per usual. I think at one point I used to be funny, and then I kinda lost it and went all emo and there's really no point in anyone reading my blog anymore.

You can read Yasmin's blog HERE.

Soooo... Yeah. Oh. I'm going traveling with Aidan at the end of the year! He wants to go to Maldives, which is fine and dandy, but then we have to go to Bali. However I NEEEEED a girlfriend to go with! I can't go clubbing with my brother alone! That would be so totally lame! But yeah, we haven't even talked about it yet, Mom just came over to tell me he had plans, so we may as well go together. Nyee.

Now Playing: Poisoning Pigeons In The Park - Tom Lehrer. This song is pretty much the theme song of my life. But it's not against anyyyyy religion, to want to dispose of a pigeon!

We'll murder them allll in laughter and merriment, except for the ones we'll take home to experimentttt!!

You're too young to be developing a drug problem and early onset prostitution!

I've been going through a fuckin TIDAL wave of hideous luck lately. Ever accidentally rang someone while having extremely loud sex with someone else? Now I get to tick just one more horrid life experience off the official list of odious things to happen to you in your lifetime. I've already ticked off the "Swallow an insect while running with your mouth open" and "Pass out at a fast food restaurant in the middle of the night, alone" experiences.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I still have "Tuck your skirt into the back of your panties by accident" to look forward to.

And to top it all off, Layne stepped on my mirror today and shattered it into a million pieces so I'm guessing I'm going to have positively loathsome luck for the rest of my life.

And do NOT say it's karma. If karma existed, there would be no need for the judiciary system that (most of) the world relies on to keep shit in order and such. WOULD THERE? People who believe in such flippant theories are fools and will get nowhere in life. "God will punish you!" If you're so certain of it, why do you feel the need to remind me? Or... Is it you that you are reminding? Assuring, maybe? You humans and your ostentatious faiths... Are your beliefs really that strong, or are they so solid just because you're afraid someone who makes sense will one day come around and attempt to knock that shit down?

Anyway, I'm not going to preach. If god existed, I'm sure he'd want people to stand up for themselves and not follow blindly, no matter what they believed. If I'm wrong, well fuck me. I'm already living a hell as it is.

Last Awesome Thing That Happened: I was at the gym yesterday on my elliptical machinemajig, when this dude just clear of the handlebars of my machine fell off his and started spazzing out and frothing at the mouth. I had a front row view! People rushed to his aid and I felt no need to interrupt my workout so... I didn't. Heh.

My Hideous Day.

Ok so here's a recap of my hideous day:

9am: Woke up from a barely-restful sleep to my phone alarm.

9.02am: Ripped some hair out, groaned and rolled out of bed and into the bathroom.

9.04am: Realized I had a terribly sore throat that no amount of toothpaste or lozenges could abate.

9.58am: Stormed into class and sat at an empty desk on a broken chair (I knew it was broken but it was the only chair available). Was immediately subjected to torture; assorted losers were already at their loser stations and readying selves for a day of loserdom by blasting Muse, whom are SO five years ago.

10.04am: Chair gave way. Attempted to save self by grabbing the edges of the table, but that gave way as well and I hit the ground on my ass, still gripping the table.

10.04:15am: Noticed everyone staring and screamed "FUCK MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!". A nice classmate who is actually neither a nerd or a virgin asked if I was ok, but I got up and stormed out of the class.

10.05am: Realized I had no business outside the classroom, so I stormed back in. Everyone pretended nothing happened.

10.30am: Documented Betty's clothes for the day.

10.30am - 12.30pm: Egrieged around class doing nothing. Noted that skin was unbelievably dry. Retouched makeup and moisturized face.

12.30pm: MP3 battery died; left earphones in so nobody would disturb me. Played Pokemon on GameBoy Micro. Was defeated by my own (fictional) father at Verdanturf town; screamed some obscenities at nobody in particular.

12.30-3pm: Sat around in class doing nothing.

3pm-8pm: Egrieged around KL with Boob and Anissa. The rumoured sex shop at Tropicana mall exists, but their selection is limited and WAY too pricey. I get fancier stuff online.

8pm: Arrived home. Found out new vibrator STILL hasn't arrived. Stormed around in an erratic egregious fit of rage.

9pm: Showered. Brushed teeth and pulled out a huge chunk of my inner cheek. It was stained purple from all the blackcurrant lozenges I'd consumed.

Sooooo yeah that was my day. It was horrifying. Hopefully everyone else had an equally shit day.

Boreded.

I'm bored. I'm bored of my last few blog posts so I'm writing a new one so I don't have to look at the previous ones.

That is all.

My eyeballs hurt.

One thing I now know for sure is that no matter how much someone tells you you're their number one, you can never really be on their mind all the time. I don't believe in love and I don't believe in friendship -- I only believe in making do with what you have here and now. Your little elementary school best friends, where are they now? Where's your boyfriend from when you were fifteen, that you swore you would love forever and eventually marry? No matter how much you love someone, you will cheat on them and they will cheat on you, emotionally or physically. It's sad, but that's the way the world is. Learn to live with knowing you will never, ever be someone's number one or only one -- It's never gonna happen.

That said, I'm thinking of what to do on my long ass two or three month break while all my asshole classmates go on to their Photography semester that I thankfully have already done... I know I'm most likely gonna sit at home and smoke pot while watching Spongebob, but before I begin I could just start daydreaming. I want a vacation. That last vacation was a complete emotional drain and just made me hate everybody. I don't want to go alone, but I can't think of anyone else to go with! Unless I go with Layne, which will DEFINITELY end up horriffic and hideous to the MAX.

Speaking of which he started an argument with me last night about how I don't like this chick friend of his. He said he had a problem with it cos I didn't have a reason to dislike her, but he had a reason for not liking my friends because "they come into your house and throw weed in your face". I told him I was not a victim of anything; if I want to smoke up I very well will do so and I don't need his permission! I have a mind of my own. If I don't feel like it, I won't. Anyway, my reason for not liking her is she appears OUT OF NOWHERE, and starts living in his apartment along with his roommates, all ALL OF A SUDDEN he feels TERRIBLE for not seeing her for one night, and he's at her every beck and call just because her house got broken into, she needs help moving her shit, etcetera etcetera. I mean, how would he feel if I SUDDENLY moved some dude into my apartment; some dude I've NEVER spoken of but seem to get along very well with?

Anyway, that's said and done. I creeped him out by being extra nice instead of stomping around the house all night in an erratic egregious fit of rage, so whatever.

Uncle Zack will be here soon to pick me up for tea at my grandparents' place -- Whooooo. Break out the cases of beer and light yourself a cigar! IT'S A PARTY AT SHAH ALAM!

Betty.

I've finally found my Betty! Remember a few months ago I had this post describing the people in my life as Ugly Betty characters? And I said I didn't have a Betty? Well now I do! She even looks like Betty and is prone to erratic fits of egregious rage. Most of all she has a hideously mismatched wardrobe, with long patchwork skirts, thrift store tee shirts, Birkenstocks and Crocs, and the like. She's not fat, but she is definitely Betty, I'm sure of it. Whenever I am bothered I'd update Twitter on what she's wearing. Yesterday she wore a patchwork maxi skirt with lace trimming, a tee with some stupid slogan or other, and accessorized with a scuba diving watch and a ballerina charm bracelets. I think she was wearing cork Birkenstocks.

Hee. My life is complete! I would love to make her over, I have a feeling she has some potential as a half-decent looking person, but just doesn't know it or doesn't bother.

The party days are over.

I've been enrolled in four colleges, and I have actually attended three... The word "attended" being used in the loosest possible manner. Since my first college experience at HELP, until my current college experience today at Taylor's, I've studied a wide range of topics up close and personal -- Economics, Law, Psychology, and now, Graphic Design. If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: One person leaving a group can and will cause the entire group to separate.

I didn't actually leave Taylor's, but I did leave my intake because the dumbass that I am smoked and drank my way through my first semester and pretty much had an epic fail of a report card to show for it. In the 8 months or so I was with them, the Aces pretty much made life worthwhile. When I broke up with Layne and threw his bags out the door and locked it behind me, I called Didi, whom I'd only known for a couple months, crying hysterically wanting nothing but to hear his voice. He was at college that night working on an assignment I never even bothered to attempt, and I could hear the others in the background going "That was Anna? Was she... Crying?!"

Seven months after I met them I was finally comfortable enough around them to invite them into my home. Well, they invited themselves into my home. They were planning on invading Fabio's home but he shut them out, so Andy, Didi and Afiq came over and we had our first party and smokeup session. Afiq tried to make me kiss him, then proceeded to pass out. The next morning we had a field trip and we couldn't hardly walk so we skipped out to hang out by the buses while everyone else trekked through forests with DSLR cameras.

Occasionally Andy gets on my nerves, just about something or another. But we're just that kinda people -- Sometimes we just can't get along. Regardless, without Andy, many nights would have been spent moping around at home, instead of getting wasted and laughing my ass off at stupid shit with him.

Anyway, since I left their intake, they've kinda... Recruited some other girls into their little gang and now I hardly see them and it really hurts me. Most people wouldn't understand, but they just don't know how hard it is for me to open up to people.

It was three months before I hung out at lunch with them. Five months before I hung out with them outside of college. Seven months before I let them into my home, and ten months until I started hugging them and kissing them on the cheek and telling them I loved them.

I'm just not the sort of person who can go through all that in a day. It takes time, and to see all my time wasted like that just hurts. I want things to go back to the way they were, but I know I can't go back.

My classmates are losers, the Aces have moved on without me and I'm out of vodka. I'm guessing the party days are over.