I Rebel By The Book.

So like, I tried blogging about something else, but it got boring so I deleted it. Hee. So instead, here is a list of internal contradictions I have to face every day. Awesome!

1. I am extreeeeemely messy and disorganized, but when it comes to my personal self I am immaculate. Think about it. My apartment is a pig sty but I shower up to five times a day and not a hair is out of place on my head.

2. I can never stay in one place for long, but all the while I'm searching for a home. At most I live in a city for about three years, and then I up and leave to somewhere new without warning. Does it make sense to be constantly moving around, when all you want is somewhere you can call home?

3. I can't stand porn, sex scenes in movies and conversations involving sex, but my experience in that area is pretty explicit. I really don't need to go into the details.

4. I'm unpredictable, but at the same time most people can pretty much forecast my actions even before I think about doing it. You either know exactly what will happen next, or it'll come as a complete surprise.

5. I'm a free spirit, but everything I do is extremely calculated and technical. I write lists and equations and consider most possible outcomes before acting out erratically. I research everything to death before committing to something out of the blue. I over analyze people's actions and reactions before doing something completely unprecedented. Everything has to go exactly according to plan otherwise I get upset.

6. I know plenty of people and next to nothing about human relations. As above, I overanalyze and theorize everything. I have very concrete views on love (being in love with someone means never having to think about anyone else; never wanting anyone else even for a second) and friendship (and levels thereof: Acquaintances, outer circle, mid sector, inner circle and Someone), but none of my theories apply to a single one of the people I know. It's weird because you would THINK that being in love meant never even wanting to think of anyone else, but at the same time there's probably not a human in the history of mankind that hasn't thought of someone else no matter how in love they were... I think.

6i. Also, I only just learned that you should NEVER go on holiday with someone you don't like or know very well. Just... Period. Seriously. NEVER.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'm a really conflicted person and somehow I manage to make it through.

Oh! Here's a mini-list of Things That Went Wrong Since Layne House-Sat My Apartment:

1. TV cabinet is suffering hideous water damage.

2. Fish are very hungry.

3. Floor is sticky.

4. Kitchen is full of trash.

5. Clothes are not in laundry basket!

6. Soap bottle is leaking.

Yes, my apartment is a pig sty, but it's got to be dirty the way I like it!

Oh, and here's One Thing I Learned From My Vacation:

1. You can always, always, ALWAYS count on the virgin to fuck everything the fuck up.

And in case you were wondering, Yasmin Disney is my Someone (: