A bunch of ghey art pieces that I made. Hee.

Hi smexy readers! For some reason my Y key is malfunctioning so prepare for some mortifying typos!

Today I am selling some clothes on Facebook. Most of them are less than a few months old, but as some of you may have noticed my look has been changing frequently and drastically lately so any outgrown looks are up for sale at super cheap prices. Of course, I'm Anna Bites so everything on sale is amazing and more than half of it was snapped up within 45 minutes. Have a look anyways if you haven't already. HERE. Hot chicas who are helping a spoiled rich girl earn an honest pay on this lovely cloudy day are Shakira, Kami and Cindy!

So this week I am loving thin, distressed fabrics, zippers, floral designs and grungey prints. I am also loving super glue, because it is the best friend ANYONE can ever have when it comes to anything fashion and/or art related. Also DIY related, hee.

However, I am the sort of person Krazy Glue tries to warn with printing "point nozzle away from face and squeeze tube" on its labels because just yesterday I put my eye right to the nozzle hole and squeezed to see if anything would come out. I am definitely someone who, left alone with a tube of super glue for a sufficient amount of time (5-10 minutes), can and will glue my toe to my eyeball. Also, a week ago, I poked myself in the eye with a curling iron... While it was on. No kidding.

Anyway, I am very proud of myself lately on account of I have been handing in my assignments on time and not only that but each assignment was completed to my full satisfaction -- No half ass shit going on here! It does have its downsides; today we were given a very time-consuming assignment to complete within the week, to make two A1 sized pop-art-inspired pieces of our own faces. We could use any media we pleased, so I chose to make a collage but after almost an hour of cutting out tiny pieces just to make one A4 size picture, I gave up and decided to go all out grunge and just spray paint through some stencils.

People should really stop underestimating artists and our lifestyle. We really don't sit around smoking pot all day and piling dead skin flakes and nail clippings together and labeling it art. I don't condone that sort of behaviour at all! I don't believe in stupid shit like that. Lots of people think being an artist involves being fabulous and European... It doesn't. The artistic lifestyle is always tiring, often tragic and rarely involves smoking a long cigarette and being French. In fact, unless you've had your soul crushed by a legitimate critic, suffered manic depression due to your own shortcomings that nobody seems to notice AND ripped years of work from our walls in a tragic fit of artistic rage, I really wouldn't say you know art at all. You muses and photographers wouldn't understand. The only reason I love my course so much is I adore what I do. Just yesterday I braved a long winding stairwell filled with spiders for seven floors just to go to my Fundamental Drawing class. I had a cold and I carry with me a morbid fear of spiders, but I did it because I love what I do! I covered my eyes and whimpered the whole way, but at least nobody saw.

Here's a Bob Marley-inspired pop-art piece. My face was actually photocopied. As in I put my face on a photocopier copying surfacemajiggy and hit Enter.

This is the original photocopy with the outline drawn onto the plastic, cos half of you are like YEAH RIGHT SHE JUST MADE HERSELF LOOK HOTTER HURR HURR.



Here is a picture of my glitter skull that I stuck onto my Design portfolio!



And lastly, here is a sketch of Mars, the god of war that I did for Fundamental Drawing yesterday. Ernesto was horrid to me! He was all, "Jor construcshun ees nat bad but ju hev to werk on de deetales! Ju should be hundred perrsent better by now! Ju don' need me to tell ju anymorre!" Ugh the slightest critique from an art teacher can seriously make or break me. I'm sorry I let you down Ernesto! I'll do better next week!


And I would like to say a special thanks to Irena for calling me during class so that everyone could hear that my current ringtone is Burning Up - Jonas Brothers. Why? I'm not quite sure why. It's just me and Didi's song and lately I've been really missing him and showing him mad egregious love! Anyways, thanks lovie! Everyone laughed when my phone rang. It was so awesome.

Good God Jeezus And Buddha.

You guys want to know what the most bullshit piece of crap disgrace to the entire field of architecture is? THE TAYLORS LAKESIDE CAMPUS. It. Is. HIDEOUS. Wide ugly slabs of concrete in the middle of nowhere, beside a gaping hole in the ground filled with sludge. Sorry, that's the LAKE. Garish red lockers lining plain walls made the place look like a high school nightmare. A tiny carpark cordoned off with rusted corrugated metal sheets and unfinished [lack of] construction garnishes the view. It is navigable, at the very least, but do NOT get me started on the No Smoking bullshit and the dress code crap. GAH!

College today was a HARDCORE waste of time. Spent 45 minutes getting there thanks to the highly incompetent cab driver blasting atrocious Malay music from his speakers, 1.5 hours drawing an evil looking mustachioed guy wearing a scarf in Fundamental Drawing, then I guess Ernesto realized I was just not in the mood to draw dudes in scarves so he let me leave early. Wanted to meet up with Didi or Afiq or SOMEONE, cos it was only like, 10, but I had no credit and after egrieging around for a bit and being unable to locate a 7Eleven, I left. If smoking was permitted I'd have sat down and waited for someone I knew to pass by, BUT NO.

All in all today was a useless waste of time.

Current Problem: No Woman No Cry is NOT making me feel better, which is alarming.

I can't be bothered to type anymore. The lakeside campus has pretty much removed the remaining will to live I had within me.

Firearms For Fish.

Since yesterday's blog post was so boring and uninspired, I owe it to my (most likely nonexistant) readers to post something today. Let's seeeee... What happened today? Well I got locked out of my apartment for one. I know, my life must be pathetic for the highlight of the day to be getting locked out of my apartment, but I have a crazy fear of being locked out of my home! It's only ever happened once before and it wasn't even my fault cos I'd asked Jeffrey to feed my rats when I was gone from Melbourne, and when I got back he'd lost my key!

Anyways, I was at Asia Cafe with Layne and he had his key with him, and he went home, and only when I'd got home I realized I didn't have my key. So I had to go to Ridzuan and egriege around waiting for him to come downstairs to give me my key. I thought it'd be horrible what with all the black guys lurking around me like predatory sharks but Coletta (random chick at my party) was there and we sat down and talked about hair while she waited for her ride to church. Some of her friends came and sat down with us too and it was just really nice!

So since I really haven't much to say, I'll just state that this week I am loving faded rockstar tees, several types of leggings (black, jeans and lace) and sky high black heels or wedges. Unfortunately, leggings and wedges look horrible on me and I have yet gathered the courage to purchase a pair of either.

In other news, Sarah E is planning (hoping) to move to either my apartment block or the one next to it, and it would be seriously awesome to have someone to go shopping with, randomly go to AC with and just hang out with that lives nearby! I mean, Yasmin is my Someone, but I see her once a week at most and I've hardly seen her this month! It would just be really nice to have someone I already know move in nearby! Fingers crossed for Sarah!

Song Of The Week: D'yer Mak'er (No Mercy) - Led Zeppelin.

Last Lie: Told my gramparents I overheated in Langkawi and am not feeling well. Which is true, just not unwell enough to not see them for dinner tonight, but my holiday was mostly a horriffic experience and I really don't want to deal with people right now.

Current Hairstyle I Am Into: The tousled bedhead look. It's so awesome, I am totally going out to buy a curling iron just for this purpose!

What The Blog Post Title Is All About: Went to the pet store last week for fish food blocks and wanted to get an accessory for the fish tank. Layne convinced me to buy a big ugly cannon, and it looks so retardedly out of place in my aquarium!

I Rebel By The Book.

So like, I tried blogging about something else, but it got boring so I deleted it. Hee. So instead, here is a list of internal contradictions I have to face every day. Awesome!

1. I am extreeeeemely messy and disorganized, but when it comes to my personal self I am immaculate. Think about it. My apartment is a pig sty but I shower up to five times a day and not a hair is out of place on my head.

2. I can never stay in one place for long, but all the while I'm searching for a home. At most I live in a city for about three years, and then I up and leave to somewhere new without warning. Does it make sense to be constantly moving around, when all you want is somewhere you can call home?

3. I can't stand porn, sex scenes in movies and conversations involving sex, but my experience in that area is pretty explicit. I really don't need to go into the details.

4. I'm unpredictable, but at the same time most people can pretty much forecast my actions even before I think about doing it. You either know exactly what will happen next, or it'll come as a complete surprise.

5. I'm a free spirit, but everything I do is extremely calculated and technical. I write lists and equations and consider most possible outcomes before acting out erratically. I research everything to death before committing to something out of the blue. I over analyze people's actions and reactions before doing something completely unprecedented. Everything has to go exactly according to plan otherwise I get upset.

6. I know plenty of people and next to nothing about human relations. As above, I overanalyze and theorize everything. I have very concrete views on love (being in love with someone means never having to think about anyone else; never wanting anyone else even for a second) and friendship (and levels thereof: Acquaintances, outer circle, mid sector, inner circle and Someone), but none of my theories apply to a single one of the people I know. It's weird because you would THINK that being in love meant never even wanting to think of anyone else, but at the same time there's probably not a human in the history of mankind that hasn't thought of someone else no matter how in love they were... I think.

6i. Also, I only just learned that you should NEVER go on holiday with someone you don't like or know very well. Just... Period. Seriously. NEVER.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'm a really conflicted person and somehow I manage to make it through.

Oh! Here's a mini-list of Things That Went Wrong Since Layne House-Sat My Apartment:

1. TV cabinet is suffering hideous water damage.

2. Fish are very hungry.

3. Floor is sticky.

4. Kitchen is full of trash.

5. Clothes are not in laundry basket!

6. Soap bottle is leaking.

Yes, my apartment is a pig sty, but it's got to be dirty the way I like it!

Oh, and here's One Thing I Learned From My Vacation:

1. You can always, always, ALWAYS count on the virgin to fuck everything the fuck up.

And in case you were wondering, Yasmin Disney is my Someone (:

All About Vaginas.

Does everyone else enjoy hearing about other people's vaginas or something? Cos about 40% of the time I am listening to someone talk, they are talking to me about their sex life. Even worse, half of them are friggin virgins and their sex lives exist in their MINDS. It's disgusting! Oh, and then there are the virgins who pretend they're not virgins, but you can just tell because they're socially awkward, ugly, devoid of any sort of personality, lacking in the brain department... And so on and so forth.

I don't understand why people feel the NEED to talk to me about sex. Do I have TALK TO ME ABOUT BLOWJOBS tattooed on my face or something?! There are certain people who talk to me SOLELY for the purpose of telling me about their latest "conquest", and then in hushed tones ask, "Um, if we had sex like, three days before her period, she can't get pregnant right?".

Another thing. Why do they assume I know all about birth control and the female reproduction cycle? I mean, I DO know, because I prefer to research things before committing to anything long-term, but it's really not that difficult to find these out on the internet. Just for your information, the female menstrual cycle is typically 28 days long. The first day of the cycle is the first day of your period. The egg is released roundabouts Day 14-ish. If the egg is not fertilized, it will die within a few days, and menstruation will commence about 10 days later, thus beginning a new cycle. The female can only be impregnated on the days the egg is released, ie Days 14-17ish. APPROXIMATELY.

VERY INFORMATIVE RIGHT? Next time you need to ask me, I will redirect you to this page. I highly recommend you see your doctor for a more personalized account.

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me to buy or give them birth control pills, I would have enough to top up my phone.

But this isn't the worst of it. The worst of the worst is hearing about your ugly frenemy's ugly boyfriend or conquest. It is fucking REPULSIVE. I am all for hearing a sex secret every now and then, but I would really appreciate it if when I am imagining said secret being acted out, I am not retching in disgust because you and your partner are so goddamn ugly. I'm sorry, I'm shallow, but I KNOW none of you enjoy imagining ugly people having sex. Go ahead. Do it. Imagine a fat hairy balding sweaty man with a small penis having sex with a fat ugly woman with frizzy hair, buck teeth and cellulite thighs. DID YOU ENJOY THAT? You didn't? WHAT A SURPRISE!

Anyways, I'm done ranting.

Ok, I'm not. I want to rant more but if I were to go on about virgins talking about sex I would never be done and would miss my River Monsters piranha episode that will air in approximately 20 minutes. I hope you found this post highly informative.

PS: If you're not using birth control pills, FOR FUCK'S SAKE use a FUCKING CONDOM. Not because I give a shit that you get preggers or not, but because I AM SICK OF YOU ASKING ME FOR POSTINOR. It costs FIVE FUCKING BUCKS at a PHARMACY. GET IT YOURSELF. IDIOTS.

Cowboys.

Tadaaa! I'm blogging again. And since I'm gonna be beach-prone from Monday onwards to forever (Just kidding. I just don't know exactly when I'll be back, but I have to be back sooner or later!), I'm gonna blog now. Ladies and Germany, I present to you, AnnaRARR's Beach Checklist.

300 dollar sunblock: Because the doctor told me I had to.

One bikini and one bikini top: Either one can be patterned, but the other must be solid. Why? For the interchangeable look. You can't parade around the same beach, hotel and city for 4 days straight in the SAME bikini can you?!

Frayed denim shorts: Seriously, if you don't have a pair, you suck. Go cut up your jeans, unless you have 80 bucks to spend at Forever 21.

Another pair of shorts: Interchangeability again.

Big hat! For no other reason than THE COWBOY LOOK IS AWESOME. Paired with frayed denim shorts and a flowy cotton top.

Waterproof mascara: Just because you're getting in the water doesn't mean you have to look totally unfabulous.

Waterproof hairstyle: I know you're all like, wtf?! but HAVE FAITH BITCHES! Me and Aidan have patented hairstyles, but not only are they fashionable, they are also WATERPROOF. Because my hair is sprayed with hairspray, teased and sprayed again, it takes a pretty badass current to bring me down!

Plastic accessories: I know you're thinking wood goes more with the beach look, but NO wood is invincible to water and fungus. Ew.

And lastly, your phone in a Ziplock bag. Maybe two Ziploc bags. I'm kidding. (I am so totally serious, it keeps the sand and water off your precious baby!)

And without any further ado, here is a picture my new cowboy hat and cowboy scarf. And my face.


How To Sedate Me When In An Egregious Erratic Rage Tip #04: Play some old skool love ballads. Firehouse, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses and Air Supply fit the bill.

OHJEEZUS.

Omaigawd! It's been friggin YEARS since I last updated. I finally got round to fixing Yasmin's blog design tonight, only to realize too late that it is FRIDAY NIGHT and I don't really have any plans so here I am blogging like a loon, with no friends.

That's not true. Andy actually called me a few minutes ago to ask if I wanted to smoke up, but I said no cos I have a checkup tomorrow cos of my hormones and crap. A checkup that involves a BLOOD TEST! *shudders*

Soooo what's been happening the past few weeks? I've been seeing Yasmin more or less every week, which is awesome cos I LOVE seeing her and can I just say one thing, she scoffed at me for "associating with ugly people; I don't associate with ugly people!" and let me just leave it at that because she does so associate with ugly people!

I started college again 3 weeks ago, my classmates are egregious to the MAX! Super duper losers, gah. There's only one guy in class who actually talks, and I may or may not be training him to be my GayMarc. Of course, since I'm a design student, I get loads of days off and finish class early and after my six week break, I am only just starting yet another break. Planning to go to Langkawi with Boob and Andy and a couple other people I don't really care for! YAAAAY. I haven't been on holiday for AGES!

I've been doing a couple of freelance projects too, recently I designed theatre posters for Uncle Zack's theatre group but I won't post them up cos they're hideous. Soon to start illustrating a kid's book Mam wants to write about her repulsive cats.

Soooooo yeah that's about it.

Ok, that's totally also a lie but there has been a lot of stuff going on lately that I shouldn't really mention on a blog, but HEEEE anyways (HAHA I nearly typed ANDYWAYS)... Yeah :D

Currently listening to: Crying - Aerosmith.

Last random thing purchased: Blue and pink My Little Pony.

Next tattoo: Two little frogs climbing up my leg, and I will call them Froggeo and Froguliet! Heee!

Current fear: NEEDLES NEEDLES NEEDLES! People wonder how someone with so many piercings can be afraid of needles... Well, I AM.

How To Sedate Me When In An Egregious Erratic Rage Tip #23: Put on a TV program that involves large fish, frogs or other amphibians hosted by a hot intelligent person.

I made this. For fun.