So Apparently I'm Hilarious.

Don't you just hate it when you get something you adore and other people try to butt in and "share"? Fuck you! I don't want to share!

Anyways since it's like 6.30am I'm not bothered to type a full post, so here's some awesome New Year's quotes.

Me: Dude I think you should like, chill on the drinks.
Freddie: Fuck that shit man I'm WHITE I can DRINK!
*15 minutes later*
Freddie: *face down in front of club, half rolling and half dragging himself to the toilet, takes dick out for the camera, stumbles to the curb and passes out*

Me: Omg dude turn him on his side! Turn him on his SIDE! OR HE'LL DIE LIKE THE ACDC GUY!!

Boob: What are Jewish people called again?
Me: Uhhhh... Jews?

Me: So yeah I was like omg and he was like omg and we were like omg and then I lol'd and I told him that I OMG MY FACE IS TINGLING!

Me: Dude if I ever die I wanna be cremated, then chuck my ashes in some glittery silicone and make them into dildos or something k?

Boob: So you like it rough?
Me: Yeah dude.
Boob: ME TOO HIGH FIVE!!

Boob: *After seeing ten million pictures of emo guys kissing each other* *points to picture of scene chicks making out* OMG DUDE THAT'S DISGUSTING! WHY MUST THEY DEMEAN THEMSELVES OUT LIKE THAT!
Me: So if it's guys kissing, it's not called demeaning?
Boob: It is, but it's hotter.

Me: *Google Images page is full of emo guys making out* *points to image where two guys are making a heart shape between thumbs and forefingers* OMG THAT'S SO GAAAAAY!!!

Me: The only reason she can dance better than us is that she doesn't smoke.

Boob: *sees picture of ugly guy* I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL AND GETS POOPED ON!

Fabio: I can't feel my face. I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!
Me: I CAN FEEL YOUR FACE DUDE DON'T WORRY. .... HOLY SHIT I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!
Fabio: I CAN FEEL YOUR FACE!
(this is particularly hilarious because it's happened between me and Boob before)

Andy: *in a video in which he is high and wearing the unidentified bra found in my laundry* Here, passerby, can you hold this for me? *hands me TV remote* Now, can you please whack my tits?
Me: *whacks with remote control*
Andy: See? No pain! But with the average brand bra... Ahh! AAAHH! MY siliCONS!!

Andy: *in same video* It's even... Easy to take off!! *struggles with bra strap*
Fabio: *off camera* NOT FOR YOU ANDY!

Aidan: *walks into hotel room and hugs everyone except for me* *sits down on sofa with me* *starts conversation about how to maintain pubic region*

Aidan: I intend to take full advantage of Free Flow... It won't take much!
Me: ME TOO! HAI FAIVE.
Everyone: ... *stares*
Me: What? At least we admit it.
Aidan: HAI FAIVE!

So yeah according to Kami and Andy my blog is "hilarious", sweeeeet dewd.